People-Oriented versus Goal-Oriented

goalMy mom and I sat at the table eating lunch. She began talking about one of her friends. Disinterested, I asked why she was telling me. As the words tumbled out of my mouth,

I wished I could take them back. She frowned. She tried to explain.  I stopped her.

See, I’m a goal-oriented person, deadlines, results and timelines. How can I help you propel your dreams, and how can you help me? If you’re not in that sphere, I’m disinterested. How much can we produce? What do we plan to achieve? Otherwise gabbing about others is gossip. As the adage goes: “If you aren’t part of the problem or the solution, its gossip.”  Proverbs indicates, “whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets, but he who is trustworthy in spirit keeps things covered. Do not associate with a simple babbler” (11:13, 20:19).

Now, my mother was neither slandering nor revealing secrets, simply prattling; concerned about this person, and sharing her distress, which I knew would later disclose something I cared not to hear. She’s people-oriented, creating social and emotional ties.

God is still working on me.

I explained: “As a goal-oriented person, personal matters are not usually my concern. What is the task at hand? I focus on the goal.”

God is still working on me.

As an instructor, my aim is to lecture, encourage, coach students in rhetoric and composition. I don’t have time for excuses—my printer doesn’t have ink, Internet was down, I broke up with my girlfriend, I’m overwhelmed with other classes. My concern: when can you hand in your assignment? How can you improve your writing? I don’t give busy work every task is a building block.  It’s about production and achievement.

God is still working on me.

My heart belongs to a man that’s taking way too long to put a ring on finger. When we talk, I prefer discuss: how much money have you saved towards my ring; if we live as one, where is relocation. I want dates and schedules, what is your plan not speculation or hesitation. God is still working on me.

I realize God is still working on me because I’m learning to create friendly relations and more concern for people. Perhaps, that is why I was chosen for a few titled positions requiring human interaction, opening channels of commutation, loving others through their distress, and working with the oppressed. Only God knows how to mold and shape me. Knowing I’m goal-oriented I have to remember: We should make plans – counting on God to direct us (Proverbs 16:9).

The student: Ms. Hooks, can I speak to you about why I didn’t finish my paper?

I shake my head no.

The student: I’m not looking for sympathy.

I shake my head no, again.

Class ends, he approaches my desk. I look at him.

The student: I broke up with my girlfriend this weekend and couldn’t concentrate.

I shake my head, saying Adele the singer, recorded hit songs when relationships ended badly. Use your break up as your muse; finish the essay.

God is still working on me.

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5 thoughts on “People-Oriented versus Goal-Oriented

  1. I’m too goal oriented lady Angela, so was Jesus love for us. However, His aim was one of which He left keywords [in quotations] for His dear children to follow. They are tri-fold in nature: 1) “sacrificing” His life so that He could 2) enable us [the world] to re”connect” with God, and 3) “demonstrate” to us how important it is to have relations—the greater one being with that of the Father. O how better it would be if we were to practice actualizing those keywords in our relationships and or conversations patiently with the apex of God’s creation. 😊

    God’s still working on me too! Aha! Thank you Lord!

  2. Always enjoy your thinking. With that said, in the end all of us should come to the conclusion of Sisyphus and recognize the absurdity of our tasks and strive to be content. (Ecclesiastes 1:1-11) I’m sure if you haven’t concluded by now, you will soon enough, that the real measure of pleasure in life is the richness of the relationships we make (especially in Christ).
    Keep this in context. It’s easy to color outside of the lines. God bless.

  3. Sometimes I think it is good if we can blend the goals with the ability to help, after all you have to be goal oriented if you want to help someone, right. It is very difficult to help someone if there is no plan for help or plan to achieve.. I liked the article, it is much food for thought.

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